Edgar Allen's Hoe

Stats:
Hit Class: +44
Damage Class: +61

In Game Description:
This one time on a particularly dreary midnight, I was kind of tired. I'd been sitting up reading an old farmer's almanac when I heard a knock at my door. It kept up for another line or two, so I complained that someone must be impatient out there. Turns out it was some guy who kept setting his hoe down on the side of the building. I asked him to cut it out, and he promised he'd do it nevermore.